Change Could Be Scary . . . Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

One of the most debilitating yet common emotions is the emotion of fear. Fear is one of the most powerful and ominous obstacles to positive, long lasting change. Fear is one of the most significant roadblocks to becoming whatever you want to be and/or how you want to live. I don’t have a magic potion to help you but I can tell you what has worked for me.

Its power to derail our future is the reason I felt it deserved its own special spotlight. We all know what it feels like but exactly what is it? The dictionary lays it out like this: A feeling of alarm or disquiet caused by awareness or expectations of danger. Fear is used to warn you, to protect you from harm, physically or mentally. That’s it. It will not and cannot hurt you unless you mentally allow it to bully you.

Remember, we said there are no good or bad emotions. They all just have a job to do and they’re only concerned about supporting you, their master. One of my former business partners said something to me that I will never forget. We were three partners in a very large business. He said that when he is afraid it paralyzes him but when my other partner and I are afraid we keep on moving. That got me thinking . . .

I realized that courage is absolutely NOT the absence of fear BUT feeling the fear and moving forward anyway.

If I could, I would make you go to the board and write this statement 100 times.

Fear has many benefits. Fear is great for getting your adrenaline pumping to enable you to outrun some nut who wants to harm you. Fear, if used as pure atomic energy, helps for safe situations also. A challenging game of basketball, your debut on a stage, even running a competitive race can always use that intense energy.

When the adrenaline is pumping it gives you the edge you need to stay safe or win that championship game. When fear becomes so overwhelming that the physical and mental pain makes you freeze that’s a problem. The fear is not, I repeat not, stopping you. It’s not the cause of your frozen state. You and your thoughts are the cause of it. Why are you doing that to yourself? Answer that and you get a pass to move forward.

Here are some things I do to push myself forward towards my goals when I’m afraid :

1- When you feel your fear, and I say your fear because only you know what it feels like for you, you must acknowledge it, respect it and talk to it. Go to a safe, private place and question the fear out loud. “Why am I afraid? What’s going on that I’m missing or not seeing? Are you protecting me, warning me or just sending up a caution flag and need more information? What are you trying to tell me? Be patient and keep asking. The goal is to find answers.

Fear distorts the truth and truth dissolves your fear.

Questions and their answers will get you to the heart of the truths. Write down every answer you get. Have it right there in front of you.

When you do find answers don’t always expect to feel better. There may be a real danger or a risk involved but now you can think a lot more clearly and make better decisions.

2- This next question deserves a special place of its own: “What’s the worst that will happen?”

This is the main question for getting you to feel the fear but move forward anyway. In addition to the questions in number one, this question should be asked by itself, and record every answer no matter how crazy it sounds. Who knows, you may find out things are not that bad.

3- Get someone to lean on. Get moral support. Get someone to be there to be your cheerleader. You need credible, positive adults around you. I have a few friends I go to but I get most of my “support” from authors of great articles that you can find on “article websites.” I print and keep them in folders by category: Success, support, persistence Etc. Etc.

When I get scared or just sad I pull my articles out for mental nourishment. They are my Mastermind Group. Books that inspire you should be read and mark the pages that make you feel good. Go back to them 100 times a day if you need to. You do whatever you have to do to move FORWARD.

4- Get out and be active. Take positive steps towards your goals. Opportunity does not make house calls. Being out there will allow opportunity to find you. Go exercise if you can. Being active will help you feel better and besides you never know what’s out there for you.

The Main Point . . .The key is to be able to always MOVE forward. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is feeling the fear and moving forward anyway. You’re the ONE. It’s all up to you. YOU can do it!

Good Luck!!!
See you on the open road
Best Wishes
Barry